Can films irritate us? If so, how do they do it? Although these questions may sound totally absurd on reading them, I think they are quite valid and important if one wishes to understand cinema a little better. Take the case of actor-writer-comedian Dana Carvey and his 2003 misstep of a picture ‘The Master Of Disguise’. I find it to be a good example of a movie that is able to irk most of its audience. Reasons for this can be found in the way the story is executed. The characters are unrealistic, the comedy is painfully unfunny, and the overall plot is just plain stupid. I find this film very easy to cringe to, in fact. Apart from “comedies” like this one, other types, genres or aspects of cinema can also make us squirm in disgust. Horror films with cheesy sub-plots and some melodramatic rom-coms are, in my opinion, capable of doing just that.
When I talk about ‘aspects’, I’m referring to the bits and pieces in certain pictures that find a way to annoy us. This can be in the form of poor acting, direction, dialogue, movement, positioning, etc. A specific type of scene prevalent in a big part of cinema that embodies the aforementioned aspects is the sex scene, which is the topic we have based this article on. The sex scene has a couple of segments that complete it, like the initiation followed by a connection between the characters, after which we are presented with the actual act (though not all scenes work this way, a similar blueprint is frequently followed). It is important to handle these parts of a whole with extreme care, because of the intimacy, character development, and audience connection that they give off.
It’s not always easy to film the perfect sex scene, and therefore, I had many films to choose from while preparing this list. Some of them are funny, and some of them are plain bad, but there are still a remaining few that were so hilariously atrocious that I couldn’t help but watch as my nails seeped into my skin. Here is the list of top worst sex scenes ever.
10. Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) – Christian and Anastasia
Let’s start with the most obvious pick on the list. ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is just bad, and on top of that, it’s boring as well. There’s very little that this film offers outside of a good soundtrack and beautiful actors. Although most of it is shot and lit well, the sex scenes which play a prominent role are lazily presented. Take, for instance, a scene in the elevator when Christian makes a move on Ana. This had potential, but the film-makers decided to include a joke in there that us viewers were all too familiar with, thereby ruining any chance it had of being interesting in the slightest possible way.
Another reason none of it works is because the dialogues are terrible and the scenarios unrealistic, along with the chemistry between the two leads being completely unfelt. The strange delivery of awkward lines like “take off your panties” don’t help one bit either. Let’s not forget the bit in the Red Room where Ana is hit by Christian (in a sexual way). Once again, this would’ve gone places, but the terrible acting and script (“I’m gonna hit you six times, and you’re going to count with me”) utilized by uncharismatic actors make for one of the cringiest cinematic experiences you’ll ever have.