All True Blood Sex Scenes, Ranked

HBO’s ‘True Blood’ offers everything that one can ask for when it comes to over-the-board entertainment, gore, fantasy and a whole lot of sex. The show has gone through various transformations over the years and of course, if you look back, you will be able to connect a lot of dots but that’s not the only thing that allows the show to keep going. The not-so-shy and graphic sex scenes of the show are much needed because they surely have attracted a lot of viewers. Some might have stayed for more of those scenes whereas some might have actually developed an interest in the series. Set in a world where vampires and humans co-exist, the show revolves around a waitress named Sookie Stackhouse, a woman with telepathic powers whose life starts to change when she meets a vampire named Bill.

‘True Blood’ has pretty much everything — perfect soundtracks, graphic gory action, amazing screenplay, and exceptional acting. So when it lives up to all of these things, then why would it have half-assed sex scenes (pun intended)? The show portrays sex in every possible way from orgies to bondage and pretty much anything you can imagine. It has tried to pull off every possible kind of sex scene it can through its entire span of seven seasons. Why else do you think it comes under the fantasy genre? So we thought of compiling the best sex scenes so far on the show. I’m sure nobody out there knows the total number of sex scenes this one has, so there is a possibility that we might miss out on a few, but we’ve tried to add more variety here. With that said, here we list down and rank the hottest love making scenes from ‘True Blood’.

16. Eggs and Tara (Season 2, Episode 5)

Eggs and Tara had a pretty normal relationship going on during the initial seasons of ‘True Blood’. The only creepy thing about these sex scenes is the fact that Eggs was being controlled by the evil Maenad Maryann who even controls him during sex.

15. Eric and Parts of Talbot (Season 3, Episode 8)

This scene from ‘True Blood’ surely lands a place in the best sex scenes and also the best death scenes of all time because of the painful yet pleasurable moment between Eric and Talbot. Talbot had such a sweet way to leave the show but he left behind his mourning lover Russell Edington who carries around the few remains of Talbot in a crystal container. He even talks to the container trying to convince himself that his deceased lover might still be out there somewhere. What we can not figure out, though, is if this is stupid, sad or just very mundane? Whatever it is, only Denis O’Hare could’ve pulled off something so insane.

14. Threesome (Season 4, Episode 9)

Episode 8 and 9 of season 4 of ‘True Blood’ have scenes that seem like a distant reality and that’s because most of them are just dreams. The most striking one here is a threesome, a scene that is shot and acted with such raw intensity that it feels unreal. Well, actually that’s because it is just an extension of Sookie’s dreams where she has sex with two vampires, Eric and Bill. It may not be the greatest sex scene in the entire show but it surely tops the weirdest. What makes it weirder is the fact that she wakes up right before the two men kiss each other. The good part about this one is that it makes Sookie realize that she doesn’t necessarily have to choose one of the two when she can have both of them together.

13. Eric and Nora (Season 5, Episode 1)

Eric and Nora, who are known as the Noric duo of ‘True Blood’, are siblings and yes, they end up sleeping with each other. When we said that there is going to be every possible sex scene in this show, we meant it. The two siblings have sex in Eric’s flowery attic. This scene becomes a combination of awkward and yet steamy in a way. Eric ends it by saying, “We fight like siblings but f**k like champions.” Now I don’t know if that is downright disgusting or incredibly outstanding.

12. Bill and Sookie (Season 1, Episode 6)

In this episode of ‘True Blood’, things get really grim when everyone is trying to get over Gran’s death and also the fact that Sookie could be responsible for it. Sookie feels more lonely than ever after her brother slaps her and her loneliness leads her to let her guard down and sleeping with Bill later. This is the part where she ends up losing her virginity. It may have been one of the least weird scenes on the show but it’s still good enough to make it to this list. Also, Bill’s and Snookie’s chemistry is just incredible.

11. Eric and Ginger (Season 7, Episode 9)

And finally comes a moment groupie Ginger had been waiting for all along the course of seven thirsty seasons of ‘True Blood’. She finally gets to nail and ride the throne Eric sits on. This scene is pretty much everything you thought it would be. Ginger is all up on him with lad dances and weirdly flexible moves that’ll make you sore and tired just by looking at her.

10. Eric and Jason (Season 7, Episode 2)

A scene that never really happened but was still something all ‘True Blood‘ fans had hoped they would see. And after seven long seasons, Eric runs into Jason and tells him he can’t get enough of him. Jason is still madly in love with Violet but somehow he just can’t get Eric out of his head and then before we know it, the two are in bed, locking lips and making love. With almost every love sequence covered in the show, it was pretty obvious that eventually even the two most attractive men in the series would get some action. It’s a dream sequence yet a very powerful and significant one. Wake up, Jason!!

9. Sookie and Warlow (Season 6, Episode 5)

Warlow becomes one of the biggest villains by the sixth season. He is even responsible for the death of Sookie’s parents. But he somehow manages to convince that he only killed her parents to protect her and that all he has ever wanted was to keep her safe. For a while, Sookie is convinced and the two have sex in a graveyard and then a lot of other places, literally screwing all the pain away. But Sookie soon realizes that people never change and trusting Warlow was a big mistake on her part. She teams up with Jason and the two try to end Warlow whose love for Sookie is more of an obsession than actual true love.

8. Jessica and James (Season 7, Episode 6)

Jessica and James both end up in prison and are supposed to have sex for an experiment but that doesn’t really happen. But the two later meet up in private and conduct a ”study” of their own, if you know what I mean. This scene from ‘True Blood’ is more on the sexier side and one of the few scenes with nothing weird going on.

7. Tara and Sam (Season 3, Episode 6)

This scene happens much earlier during the show and is one that has been forgotten, probably because of how normal it is. After Tara’s relationship with Jason comes to a sad end, she does something very reasonable and starts sleeping with Sam instead. You totally forgot about this brief yet significant affair, didn’t you?

6. Snookie and Alcide (Season 5, Episode 4)

A moment we had all been waiting for almost comes true when Snookie and the hot werewolf Anicide get high on Pina Coladas and start kissing each other. We get all excited about the fact that it is finally going to go down after they’ve been flirting like crazy for a long time. But that’s when all of it ends abruptly, when Snookie barfs her guts out on Anicide’s bare chest. The two do get together later in season 7, but this scene from Season 5 was truly unforgettable because of all the build up behind it. Too bad it did not really live up to it.

5. Sookie and Eric (Season 3, Episode 10)

Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) and Snookie become a thing much later in the show, but none of the lovemaking scenes they have later on come even close to their initial hook up. The two vampires finally let their guards down after giving each other long steamy looks and fantasizing about long heavy kisses. This scene also gives us hints that they will not be able to resist each other for too long and will eventually just be together. Not exactly a sex scene, but this one is far more sexy and steamy than most others out there.

Read More: Best Orange is the New Black Sex Scenes

4. Bill and Lorena (Season 3, Episode 3)

By far one of the weirdest and creepiest scenes on ‘True Blood’ is the one with Bill and Lorena. Sometimes the sex is so damn good it makes your toes curl. But here, it was so good it made Lorena’s entire head turn, like literally. This scene is gross and disgusting for the most part. Bill (Stephen Moyer) takes Lorena from behind and twists her head all the way around just to look at her while he does that. It sounds funny but wait till you actually see this one. And we are just going to ignore the fact that Lorena is actually his mother. Way too much incest in this one!

Read More: Best Game of Thrones Sex Scenes

3. Jason and Jessica (Season 4, Episode 9)

There is nothing better than making love to a Taylor Swift soundtrack, and Jason and Jessica here prove just that. Jessica, who is eternally just 17, goes down with Jason in this one and that too in the back of a pick-up truck. All of this heat and sultriness while Taylor Swift’s “Haunted” plays in the background. But out of almost all the hookups on this list, this one came as no surprise — it’s something we’ve all been expecting.

2. Bon Temps Orgy (Season 2, Episode 6)

‘True Blood’ literally has no chill. As soon as you’re in the second season and you start believing that nothing can shock you more than the graveyard sex scene involving Sookie and Bill, there’s a giant massive orgy where everyone in a town gets charmed by the villain of the show, Maryann. It’s almost like a Hentai because Maryann somehow gets energy out of close to 17 people having sex unstoppably for several days. It makes no sense but we are not complaining, and if you think you’ve already had enough, you’re wrong. This energy feeding orgy is still normal compared to the entry that follows.

Read More: Best Netflix Sex Scenes

1. Sookie and Bill (Season 1, Episode 8)

It’s obvious why nothing else shocks people who watch ‘True Blood‘ anymore. The first season itself was on a whole another level and that’s why nothing from this show now comes as a surprise to anyone. Considering the time when Sookie found out that her boyfriend Bill was still alive, she literally pulled him out of the grave and had sex with him in a freaking graveyard. Now seriously, get a room, you guys! If only Stephen King had kept such a positive outlook towards bringing back the people from the dead, ‘Pet Sematary‘ wouldn’t be so damn depressing. Oh, and this should go without saying, but please do not try this at home, ever. There’s a reason why this one is a fantasy and our lives are not. This scene tops the list because it is sex combined with extreme weirdness. It is set in the most unpredictable place ever, and while it’s extremely dirty and messy, it’s also steamy as hell.

Read More: Best Sex Scenes in TV Shows

Add comment